I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You are the jesus of drinking
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's shark week go big or go home
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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