i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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