doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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