just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
