What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize