the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize