Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
