Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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