Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
