$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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