so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
smell my finger.
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she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
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I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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