i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
