ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I booty called her while she was in labor.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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