you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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