Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
