Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
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