I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My balls are so social today.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
