I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
