Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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