If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i think i scared a bird with my dick
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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