I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You may now shotgun with the bride
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
