I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
