At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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