are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
