Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
