she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
