Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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