i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
