Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
thus making me awesome and them whores
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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