the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
