i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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