Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
