how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
