how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
