So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My vagina is officially offended.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
