I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize