hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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