Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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