I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Two words: blizzard sex
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
