I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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