I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
