I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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