We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
