nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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