Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Everyone says I win the strip club
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
