She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
