New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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