i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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