some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
