HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize