Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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