Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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