OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my phone needs a breathalizer
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
