I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize