The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize