I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
