i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
