I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When did angry sex become our thing?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
