is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
