You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
