her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
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