it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i can't believe i had my finger in that
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
