My friends, they love my intelligence
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my being single is dangerous.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
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Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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