I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
