not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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