i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
