I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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