Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
