When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
